Thursday, June 30, 2011

This Song

Let's talk about Blake Shelton's Honey Bee.  Am I the only girl who is in love with this song?  The incorrect grammar doesn't even bother me, and we all know I'm nothing if not grammatically correct.  If some boy threw a few lines of this chorus my way, I'm fairly positive I'd swoon right there on the spot.

Girl, I been thinkin' 'bout us
I know I ain't good at this stuff
These feelings pilin' up won't give me no rest
This might come out a little crazy
A little sideways, yeah maybe
I don't know how long it'll take but I'll do my best

If you'll be my soft and sweet
I'll be your strong and steady
You'll be my glass of wine
I'll be your shot of whiskey
You'll be my sunny day
I'll be your shade tree
You'll be my honeysuckle
I'll be your honey bee

Yeah, that came out a little country
But every word was right on the money
And I got you smilin' honey right back at me
Now hold on 'cause I ain't done
There's more where that came from
Well you know I'm just havin' fun, but seriously

If you'll be my Louisiana
I'll be your Mississippi
You'll be my little Loretta
I'll be your Conway Twitty
You'll be my sugar baby
I'll be your sweet iced tea
You'll be my honeysuckle
I'll be your honey bee

Your kiss just said it all
I'm glad we had this talk
Nothing left to do but fall in each other's arms
I coulda said I love you
Coulda wrote you a line or two
Baby, all I know to do is speak right from the heart

If you'll be my soft and sweet
I'll be your strong and steady
You'll be my glass of wine
I'll be your shot of whiskey
You'll be my sunny day
I'll be your shade tree
You'll be my honeysuckle
I'll be your honey bee

If you'll be my Louisiana
I'll be your Mississippi
You'll be my little Loretta
I'll be your Conway Twitty
You'll be my sugar baby
I'll be your sweet iced tea
You'll be my honeysuckle
I'll be your honey bee

I'll be your honey beeeeeeeeee

Oh, and if said boy was dressed like this (take special note of the Ray Bans, of course) while he sang it, well, that'd be it for me.


Happy Thursday, honey bees.

Sunday, June 5, 2011

Fun in a Clothes Basket

So, over the weekend, my mom asked me to help her clean out her old closet.  Two summers ago, we added a new bedroom onto our house, and my mom moved into that room.  She moved most of her clothes into the new closet, but there were some left that still needed to be moved to the new room or given away to the Salvation Army. 
I must admit, I wasn't particularly psyched to help with this project (since it mostly involved me hauling the clothes out of the closet, down the stairs, and into the new closet or the car).  I suppose I was to be the muscle of this operation, which means, in short, we were behind before we even started.
Anyway...
In the course of the cleaning out, I did get a few laughs from some of the clothes we came upon, and I just had to try on (and take a picture, of course!) some of the most hideous.  I would love nothing better than to share these disasters with you now.
(Note:  My mother's wardrobe is not terrible.  Please don't hold these singularly heinous pieces against her, as she usually dresses just fine.  We've all bought and worn things we later regret, right?  And,if we're lucky, they end up on the internet somewhere.  I just didn't want my mother to miss out on that experience.)
The first ensemble I discovered is this greenish monstrosity, complete with Chicago Bears linebacker-worthy shoulder pads and grossly tapered knit pants.  Yuck.  This little beauty of an outfit actually still had the receipt in the pocket of the jacket, and we were horrified/relieved to discover it was bought in October of 1990(!!).


Althought this next item is not so much an outfit and more of a terrible excuse for sleep/loungewear, I just had to feature it, as well.  Housecoats, if you ask me, are never a good idea.  I think the picture speaks for itself, yes?


My mother wore this black-and-blue pair in Disney World in 1995.  Even though I've seen it in pictures, seeing it in person was a little unsettling, I must admit.  And, yes, if you think you're seeing black-and-blue checks on those pants, you're correct.  You're eyes are not, in fact, playing tricks on you; it's just that bad.


This next piece is just sad.  This vest is not some leftover article from a costume or a cute little joke.  It's a flowered denim vest that my mother loved.  I had to get it out of the house quickly, honestly, in fear that she would paw through the bags and stash it in the back of her closet.


Finally, the piece de resistance, if you will.  This little number was an outfit my mother defended all the way out the door, saying she had worn it to really nice events and recounting compliments she got on it more than twenty years ago.  That's just it, Mom.  More. Than. Twenty. Years. Ago.  Today, it's just ugly.  And funny.  People say there's no such thing as "too much of a good thing."  I say when that 'good thing' is neck-to-ankle floral print, there most certainly is.


Aren't parents always good for a laugh??